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Attention Bachelorette Parties!

29 Apr , 2013  

I love that hanging in gay bars and watching drag shows has gone mainstream, and that more and more people are being exposed to this artform.  I’m usually pretty grateful about it, except when it comes to Bachelorette Parties.  I get it, these lil hen parties *can* be great for the business of the gay bar, but for those us that have to perform for you…usually…not so much.
Solution:  Bachelorette Parties PLEASE Learn how to ACT RIGHT

Here’s some rules:

1. First of all, if you have opted for the “free” drag show instead of the ticket to Chippendale’s–show some respect. Dig deep into your compassion bank here. Imagine if I told you that just because someone was getting married or having a birthday in the office– that you were going to be paid HALF of what you usually get to compensate for their celebration. Say what? You wouldn’t like that shit.  We don’t either.   Keep in mind that this is what many of us do for a living. TIP a bitch. This will go a LONG way, I promise. If you’re just gonna stand there awkwardly gawking at our hedonistic ways, or even worse having your own damn party where you couldn’t give 2 shits, let alone ONE, about what’s going on onstage—STAY THE FUCK HOME AND put some RuPaul’s Drag Race on the TV while y’all play with an inflatable penis. Thank you.

2. Oh you getting married? Guess what? The people that are patrons of this bar–can’t get married in most states.  So don’t expect for anyone in this establishment to get on your celebratory band wagon, UNLESS YOU ARE PAYING US TO. It  might be your last night as a slut, but keep in mind that we in the gay bar usually celebrate slutting for life. (Yes! I’m a HO!) I think I speak for all of us when I tell you: We couldn’t give a pinched off, solid log of shit about your lifestyle choice.

 

 

 

 

 

3. “White girl wasted,” usually means the PITCH is gonna get high, and you gonna freak out about everyone that comes through the door to join your party.  Please refrain from this shit. It’s fine if you wanna get loud, but PLEASE watch the pitch, bitch.

Take it to a straight bar, or act like a lady and have a daytime sippin party at your Mom’s.

This post was inspired by:

http://www.vice.com/read/an-etiquette-guide-for-straight-people-in-gay-bars

You’re welcome!

xxx,
Ho


One Response

  1. kat says:

    Amen. David and I were talking about how bizarre it was to have several bachelorette parties at Missie B’s Saturday… talk about a slap in the face! Like you, I’m sooooooooo glad that “straight folk” have finally figured out that gay people don’t bite, but… at the same time…. just seems disrespectful… Does that make sense??

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